tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40157532009-02-20T22:50:36.455-05:00Captain InertiaOne two three four five six seven eight nine! Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comBlogger277125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1093541072392587722004-08-26T13:21:00.000-04:002004-08-26T13:24:32.393-04:00PLEASE ADJUST YOUR SETS
Captain Inertia, the blog, will cease publishing effective today. Captain Inertia, the man, has a brand new bag: Up, lummox! Please adjust your links accordingly.
Thanks to everybody who made Captain Inertia fun over the past two years.
Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1090904913720390602004-07-27T01:06:00.000-04:002004-07-27T01:08:33.720-04:00POSSIBLE ANSWERS TO PRAYER
Amazing. Via Scandal of Particularity.
Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1090536215476080372004-07-22T18:27:00.000-04:002004-07-22T18:44:55.160-04:00THERE'S WATER IN MY JABBA THE HUTT
Dammit.
In 1999, I stole one-half of a plastic Jabba the Hutt action figure from my friend David Slade. (By the by, David Slade's band, the American Princes, is extremely good, and had a very positive review in Punk Planet, who described them as "rock 'n' roll salvation.") It's just the top half of ol' Jabba--arms, torso, and head, but nothing below the Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1090535204651303382004-07-22T18:24:00.000-04:002004-07-22T18:26:44.650-04:00PERSONAL HYGIENE WATCH
I'm having some, uh, encroaching nose hair problems. Is there any way to deal with this problem, short of buying nose-hair clippers? (I suspect that rather than suffer the embarassment of buying nose-hair clippers, I might actually commit ritual suicide. But we'll burn that bridge when we come to it.)
Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1090296045082560772004-07-19T23:35:00.000-04:002004-07-20T00:00:45.083-04:00WHO FEELS LIKE CRAP? I FEEL LIKE CRAP!
Captain came down with a mid-summer case of the grippe this weekend, just in time to celebrate his birthday. Pooh. It's OK, though, because I really only got sick because I'd screamed myself hoarse...here. (They won, by the way.) But now I'm in this semi-sick limbo: not quite well enough to do the usual daily activities, but not quite sick enough Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1090294475031957212004-07-19T23:29:00.000-04:002004-07-19T23:34:35.030-04:00ILLINOIS LEGISLATORS ROCK
Heh heh heh. Via the Technology.
Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1089436780400388812004-07-10T00:58:00.000-04:002004-07-10T01:19:40.400-04:00KING OF THE NERD-PEOPLE
Civilization III reached out its ugly claws and grabbed me over the past week, consuming an entirely astonishing amount of my time. Good....grief! Today I completed, after many long hours of effort, a single game of Civ 3. The computer kindly informed me, upon my final vanquishing (vanquishment?) of my digital opponents, that I'd spent a total of 20 hours on that gameCaptainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1089435494084641322004-07-10T00:53:00.000-04:002004-07-10T00:58:14.086-04:00BLOOD...PRESSURE....RISING...
Cubs lose. And lose. And lose. Oh, and lose to our hated division rivals.
Check, please. Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1089435201942154942004-07-10T00:51:00.000-04:002004-07-10T00:53:21.943-04:00BACK AND ON THE ATTACK
Hi, everybody. Sorry about the recent hiatus, which fortunately seems to be coming to an end. I'm going to the annual Inertia Family Reunion this coming week, in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, which is usually hilarious and a great time. Blogging will be spotty for this coming week...but then I will hit you with blogging science such as you have never seen. Patience will be Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1088188056723987282004-06-25T14:26:00.000-04:002004-06-25T14:27:36.723-04:00MEA CULPA
Blogging has been, uh, light lately, even by my standards. Sorry. I recently quit my job, leaving me with fairly limited internet access for the next week or so. Once I get re-connected to the digital world (soon), I'll be back to pester all of you with more regularity. Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1086733173564480732004-06-08T18:18:00.000-04:002004-06-08T18:19:33.563-04:00"MACHO MAN" RANDY SAVAGE TO RELEASE RAP ALBUM.
If I could buy stock in something like "I will find this album in the 99-cent bin at Best Buy in one year," I would do it in a minute. Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1086644065636294372004-06-07T17:31:00.000-04:002004-06-07T17:34:25.636-04:00BLOGROLL UPDATE
I encourage ya'll to check out Hugo Schwyzer's blog, which I discovered via Camassia. It's quite interesting; I'll just say that Hugo's stuff goes a long way towards increasing the size of the way-too-small "consistent-life-ethic/Mennonite/marathon runner/Chinchilla owner" blogger demographic. Good stuff. Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1086643795685955972004-06-07T17:23:00.000-04:002004-06-07T17:29:55.686-04:00COMIC BOOK ARTIST HAS STROKE OF G
A few thoughts:
1. Why didn't I think of this?
2. Why haven't I heard of this?
3. And why, oh why, didn't I know that this was being screened IN BROOKLYN this past weekend?
After serious thought, I've decided that I think overdubbing a movie, television show, commercial, etc., with silly dialogue is just one of the funniest things you can do, ever.Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1086643294131425472004-06-07T17:20:00.000-04:002004-06-07T17:21:34.133-04:00ALSO: TREACHERY AT CLOWN HALL OF FAME
Of course, the Clown Hall of Fame is in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Where else would it be? Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1086643124461607262004-06-07T17:17:00.000-04:002004-06-07T17:18:44.483-04:00DAVID HASSELHOFF HITS ROCK BOTTOM. AGAIN.
In other news, he's got a role in "Dodgeball." Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1086288859910648672004-06-03T14:53:00.000-04:002004-06-03T14:54:19.910-04:00I WILL NOT ARGUE ABOUT THIS
Riding on down escalators is more fun than riding on up escalators.
Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1086288799913322072004-06-03T14:51:00.000-04:002004-06-03T14:53:19.913-04:00CAPTAIN INERTIA FINALLY SUCCUMBS TO THE "WHAT KIND OF XYZ ARE YOU" QUIZ BUG.
Oh, lordy. I'm a Speak and Spell.
You're a Speak & Spell!! You nerd, you. Justbecause you were disguised as a toy doesn'tmean you weren't educational, you sneakybastard.
What childhood toy from the 80s are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1086126864542298512004-06-01T17:39:00.000-04:002004-06-01T17:54:24.543-04:00MADDUX LEAVES GAME EARLY WITH PAIN IN SIDE
In other news, Cubs obtain a player named "Gookie"; apparently Chone Figgins or Coco Crisp were unavailable.
In other, other news, apparently Mark Prior has gotten sick of being a Lugnut and is ready to start for our team. Hold your breath. Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1086125943636399882004-06-01T17:32:00.000-04:002004-06-01T17:39:03.636-04:00QUERY
Is it at all funny that I get Rick Steves and Rick James confused? (Hmm...Rick Steves apparently supports the legalization of marijuana...maybe they're not all that different.) Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1085619560454360892004-05-26T20:40:00.000-04:002004-05-26T20:59:20.453-04:00TRUE STORY
My friend Duff, from college, is a great guy and a devout Catholic. And once he told me this story, one of my favorites of all time.
Duff had a big sin on his conscience. Well, actually it wasn't that big--it probably felt a lot bigger than it was. But nevertheless, Duff felt pretty terrible about it. And finally, after much wrestling with the matter, he made up his mind to goCaptainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1085437318663652362004-05-24T18:20:00.001-04:002004-05-24T18:22:19.156-04:00ADVENTURES IN GETTING OUT OF YOUR LEASE
I posted an ad on Craigslist this morning about my modest, too-expensive studio apartment in Park Slope, Brooklyn. ($880/mo...plus utilities...it's still available if you wants it, people...)
How many emails did I get? A whopping 65. Holy crap. Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1085437238913827322004-05-24T18:20:00.000-04:002004-05-24T18:20:38.913-04:00JON STEWART COMMENCEMENT ADDRESS AT WILLIAM AND MARY.
Heh. Heh.
Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1085179527827031082004-05-21T18:30:00.000-04:002004-05-21T18:45:27.826-04:00CRAIC
Some notes, in no particular order, on my recent trip to Ireland:
1. May we all agree, please, that the toilets on airplanes are terrifying? They are SO FREAKING LOUD. My gosh. Every time I use one on a plane, I have to steel myself for the deafening flush that’s going to come when I complete my business. I forgot about this on Aer Lingus on the way to Dublin and I just about Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1085177082774334832004-05-21T18:02:00.001-04:002004-05-21T18:04:42.773-04:00YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING
Last night. 3 AM. Jackhammers. Going off. On the street. Outside my bedroom window. For 45 minutes. They were re-paving the street, I think...at least that's what it looked like when I looked out this morning.
The many virtues of living in New York. I had naively assumed they had to stop come 10 or even 11 PM; clearly, I underestimated the iron will of the Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4015753.post-1084920518171457892004-05-18T18:43:00.000-04:002004-05-18T18:48:38.170-04:00SOSA INJURES SELF BY SNEEZING.
Our left fielder is peeing on his hands, Sosa is hurting himself by sneezing, the Goat Boy is throwing 14-pitch at-bats to Alex Cora (who last year hit a Bonds-esque 4 home runs), and Mark Prior is pitching for the Lansing Lugnuts. Everything is going just fine.
Serenity now. Serenity now.
Captainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01111850903181328070noreply@blogger.com